surveillance:servant

(review with spoilers, repost from toxic yuri jam server)

that sure made me feel awful. really good portrayal of being chronically online and completely dependent on the internet with all your emotional needs, looking for companionship and approval among people who will turn on you if you don't fit their standards of purity. when you feel like there's literally nothing else to hold on to, the fragile online world collapsing can destroy you. also yaaayyy we love subjecting yourself to digital self harm.

i also need to say i really love the grungy scratchy feel of your art and evocative colors.

ngl i kinda suspected Scarlet was an AI early on, from the generic responses it gave, but the confirmation of that still felt pretty devastating - it was a kinda heartwarming story about freeing yourself and unlearning shame for a little bit, and then the other shoe dropped, lol. seeing Lila cling to it just to feel any positive emotion was so fucking depressing. (also made me expect that the audio recordings would be abused in some way, which... they kind of were later? we're getting to that.)

now the final twist... i saw a lot of people are mixed on, and tbh it did feel rather tackled on. i think i can see what you were trying to do - it's certainly relevant to real life, with how AI is being shoehorned everywhere especially for jobs better done by a human, and it is already tricking a lot of vulnerable people into further isolating themselves. but it felt like such a ridiculous addition in this context.

i enjoyed this overall, always love a good downward spiral of a hurt girl.

I enjoyed it! If you're the sort of person who's ever had to deal with internet-related anxiety and kept rotting away in bed because of Discord or Twitter issues, it can hit a bit close. The way the protagonist deals with those feelings is relatable, constantly checking on things to get the latest update on the drama about her, yet never doing anything to actually move on and get better.

Presentation is good! The text gets cut off and stays hidden in the corner of the screen at times, but the visuals and especially the droning and oppressive songs really sell this image of someone who feels like they're stuck in their own hell.

I like the tug at the topic of AI and how people can lose themselves when roleplaying with a chatbot since it can be such an addicting thing, although I do admit both twists are a bit limp.

The first is fine, and I like that, even when faced with the truth, my girl just keeps going because it's THAT easy to let go and keep indulging in something that won't do you any good.

Bit more iffy on the second twist, though. Kinda takes away some impact from the ending.

Still, there was a clear desire to write a very specific type of story, and despite some hiccups here and there, I'd still say that it nails it!

I have issues with this, but identifying personal opinion from the objective is a hard thing to do. I will give you this, I watched the F1 movie last night and this was more memorable than that. When it comes to my thoughts on story criticism I usually just let my nuts hang but this story has a particular audience that is pretty separate from me, so I won't. It would be like bringing a Lana Del Ray fan to a Yeat concert and having them give a review.

I will start with my compliments. The story is contained and I love that. Short stories are best when revolving around a single place and/or stretch of time so it's good to see that. Additionally the subject of AI and its use by people to substitute real-life connections I think was handled well. The fact that the story's main subject is a very relevant issue in modern society makes this even better.

There is only one piece of advice I feel I can give without it being opinionated. You should slow down on the profanities. I think I read "fuck" like every six lines. Frustration and an overall poor mental state does not require cursing and in a story cursing can either be a hindrance or a powerful thing. With so much of it (and this is what I mean by blurring the lines of opinion and objective) the story bogs itself down whereas if she only used such words in critical moments, the use of that vernacular is given weight.

Lastly, the idea of a federal employee sitting behind a computer screen half asleep at 2am getting someone to masturbate as a job is pretty funny.

This wasn't for me, regardless I hope you continue to write and create. Best of luck with your future projects I wish you well.

The game feels very claustrophobic, which supports the themes of feeling trapped really well. There were some very real-feeling interactions, like lashing out at someone who doesn't seem to want to understand what you're going through because it's in an arena they don't think matters.

i was not expecting the twists hehe.. rly liked the ambience and story here. was very relatable v_v i had fun playing :D

omg i enjoyed this a lot and the best part was i feel like there were little hints of the true nature of everything all along the way... and yet i still got got!!! very fun twist :3

gee how come your mom lets you have TWO twists that made me visibly react!! topical, familiar, tangible. a very good experience

It's a romance, it's a horror story, it's a sympathy letter for those who have felt the shock of internet drama, and it's a tragedy. Noor knocks it out of the park with this little story, with atmosphere and growing pressure. How much are you willing to give up for relief from the burden of freedom?

wow! what an experience hehe

the drone ambience is lovely and meshes so well to create absolutely suffocating moods. the art style rips, the play with colors is excellently executed

The pre-credits twist was harrowing and I did not see coming at all.

AND THEN THE DOUBLE TWIST

this was cheeky and fun and hot and thank you for making it :3